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[03 Nov 2004|10:07am]

[ mood | complacent ]

...So that's it, thought I. They've disfigured this good old wall with an electric sign. Meanwhile I deciphered one or two of the letters as they appeared again for an instant; but they were hard to read even by guess work, for they came with very irregular spaces between them and very faintly, and then abruptly vanished. Whoever hoped for any result from a display like that was not very smart. He was a Steppenwolf, poor fellow. Why have his letters playing on this old wall in the darkest alley of the Old Town on a wet night with not a soul passing by, and why were they so fleeting, so fitful and illegible? But wait, at last I succeeded in catching several words on end. They were:


I tried to open the door, but the heavy old latch would not stir. The display too was over. It had suddenly ceased, sadly convinced of its uselessness. I took a few steps back, landing deep into the mud, but no more letters came. The display was over. For a long time I stood waiting in the mud, but in vain.

Then, when I had given up and gone back to the alley, a few colored letters were dropped here and there, reflected on the asphalt in front of me. I read:


--from Steppenwolf

Hi, im new here. Herman Hesse rocks.

1 stop whispering| start shouting

[01 Jul 2004|11:32pm]

Creative people needed to come together and innovate.

start shouting

Poser eh? [08 Jun 2004|11:15pm]

[ mood | satisfied ]

Is it possible to like being a poser? I don't think I'm a poser when it comes to my faith in Christ. I hurt Him with my sin, and I mess up alot, but I'm not a poser. I love Him, and I know I need to center my focus on the path He has made for me, because my path is crap. But I think I'm a poser in other ways. I'm not artsy, I'm not a music wiz, I don't know much about computers or technology, I'm not a great student, but sometimes I pretend I am great at everything I have named. Maybe that's not so bad. Maybe I'm a great illusionist. probably not. Sometimes I think I'm a poser even when I'm not. I can trick myself into thinking I'm fooling everyone but in the end I'm really trying to fool myself. I guess I'm not too good at that either. But that's ok. Maybe I'm not good at taking pictures, but I still love to do it. Maybe I'm not good at expressing my emotions through words, but I'm still going to do it. Maybe I mess up..no wait, there's no maybe. I screw up alot. But I know through God's Word that if I repent on the inside, I will want to change on the outside. Whether I'm a poser or not, well, I guess that's truly irrelevant. I'm going to like who Christ is molding me to be. Do you like your faults as much as your greatest aspects? Love all of yourself, Jesus does.


start shouting

[14 Jan 2004|04:05pm]

A Waterspring

It was after the winter-dreaming;
Alongside strands of fallen-amber.
With a cloudstrewn mantle behind it
And grasses whose shoots were but a slight shade of green
For then the bonds fell free
Wings uncaged
And I flew away.
3 stop whispering| start shouting

[07 Dec 2003|07:37pm]

[ mood | ehh ]

ehh i know its kind of crappy but ::shrug::

those awkward silences were never awkward with you
and i don't know why, but i think we enjoyed them.
the laughing faded and our breathing slowed
and it was so in synch and beautiful.
can i feel it one more time
and by it i mean you
and by one more time i mean always
because i would love to have you next to me
especially when it's raining.
and i hate to sound cliche but it feels like it's raining a lot
and youre not next to me and i think thats the way you want it.
my umbrella's broken again, and you can't fix it this time.

so long. ;o]

1 stop whispering| start shouting

[07 Oct 2003|10:02pm]

2 stop whispering| start shouting

i felt like writing something [07 Oct 2003|07:39pm]

[ mood | tired ]

last week

i could freeze everybody else.
i could run away and hide.
hide away in the dark.
be by myself.
break my heart quietly.
fracture further.
cry silently.
shiver alone.
wrap my arms around myself.
love me.
be unconscious.

can't find me here by myself.
i could cry out.
but my throat is thick with fear.
people are passing by.
i saw you searching that night.
part of me wanted to break.
wanted to cry.
it's easy.
easy to hide.
to give up.
don't find me.
i want to go.

i found you later.
head sore.
heart sick.
i couldn't explain
why i run.
we cried.
somehow i wanted you to hurt.
because if i had left that night
i wanted part of you
gone with me.

start shouting

[11 Sep 2003|01:07pm]
[ mood | content ]

Moments go by without passing
fail to notice me here
Open a book
close the conversation
cut off connection
Soul mates forever, right?
made for one another
talking never grows old
we grow old together
With love comes acceptance
Dull, bitter acceptance.

start shouting

a poem [03 Sep 2003|07:58pm]

[ mood | loved ]

i wish we could stop time
so we could love each other continuously
but i dont have that power
so you'll go to work
and i to school
and we'll wait till we have a moment
in time when we can just be

start shouting

a hella lot of stuff im selling on ebay [06 Apr 2003|11:18pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Check out my auctions!

start shouting

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